28.11.2012

all i need is someone to save me

Ich las unsere Nachrichten durch. Meine Augen füllten sich mit Tränen, bis zu dem letzten Satz wo ich mich entschuldigte und keine Antwort bekam. Du wolltest unbedingt mal mit mir reden und mit mir Salt gucken. Du fandest mich toll und hast mir soviele Herzen geschickt, kein Spaß. Und alles ist vorbei. Nur weil ich dir eine Nachricht gezeigt habe, wo drin stand das Jan dich und ein paar andere für unnötig hält und ich mit 'ist so' geantwortet habe. Zu meiner Verteidigung, das war im Juni und Kontakt hatten wir erst Ende August. Und ist doch selbstverständlich das ich zu einem Freund halte, oder nicht? Aber mit den Worten, habe ich mir alles kaputt gemacht. Ich hätte nicht so reagiert, wenn der mich früher nicht gemocht hätte. Aber ich wollte auch ehrlich zu ihm sein und es ist auch richtig gewesen. Wenn man mit der Wahrheit nicht umgehen kann, ist es schade, aber man kann es nicht ändern. Seit diesem Tag, irgendwann im September, ist alles scheiße geworden. Ich war zu der Zeit so glücklich und ich hätte nie gedacht das aus diesem beschissenen Jahr 2012 noch was so schönes, unbeschreibliches heraus kommt. Auch wenn es nur kurz war. Ich glaube ich werde mir eine To-do Liste anlegen, mit den Sachen die ich bis Ende 2013 haben möchte, hehe. Bevor ich es vergesse, soviele Herzen waren es, wenn jemand Lust hat zu zählen, wäre es nett. Keine Ahnung was das am Anfang für hässliche Smileys sind, Facebook halt.

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